THERE ARE ONLY SURFACES
I just got back from the Carnegie Library with Megan. I love so much about that library: the vending machine full of research supplies, the graphic novels, the music section, and all of the people. Seriously, that library is chock full of cute college kid employees, all of whom I certainly hope work at the library to satisfy some romantic yearning to meet the loves of their lives in the stacks, preferably by reaching for the same Foucault book simultaneously. I took out communion, bell hooks; jimmy corrigan, F.C. Ware; and Mirror, Window, Jessica Abel. Seriously, though, graphic novels are the last things I need right now, seeing as I have to write a passable draft of a paper for a meeting tomorrow. Ah, but they're so pretty. Oh, but it's so unfair.

After a while, all of the possible topics in my paper end up feeling like a big mash of the same things re-articulated in different ways. It makes my reality more slippery, but more glowing, to be sure. This paper will be about how form articulates theoretical content, and I'm most likely going to write about Scanner Darkly. Like I said, it's terribly exciting, but also confusing and overwhelming, but happily so. I'm having a great time dressing up and playing academic like this. Prof. Witmore was so impressed by the enthusiasm Adam, Megan, and I have for deconstructionism that he suggested we hold a deconstructionist seminar next year in which we read Derrida and Foucault and discuss over dinner once a week.

!

Okay. I think that's quite enough of that, Sarah.

TEN INCH BAMBOO CIGARETTE HOLDER AND BLACK BEADED LEATHER GLOVES
It feels like it's so close to being crunch time around here, but at the same time, i'm not really worrying about anything yet. Well, there's a paper for Witmore's class due on Monday, and there's Frank Black this weekend, and we need to pick a manuscript really soon, and the Gladys job will need to be totally finished really soon. All of this before winter break, at least. And at the same time, there are times when I feel that I'm not totally taking advantage of everything here at school. I mean, sometimes I think about all the resources in the library and I wonder at how I'm going to get as much out of them as I can while I'm here.

GOTHTASTIC
It's so shocking how dark it's getting, and how early. It makes me feel like I haven't done anything if I haven't finished something by dark, which means I only have until five or six these days. If I get depressed because of seasonal affective whatever, it would definitely be due to the feeling that I'm not doing anything. Other than that, it's nice. In a way, I like staring into the clouds my breath makes and feeling the winds that blow down Forbes and out of Panther Hollow. Sometimes I try to contrast my general mood here with what was always my general mood at home, when I was in high school. When I'm feeling the most down, it's pretty much equivalent to a normal day in high school. Amazing.