FIVE POINT PLAN FOR TOTAL EMPOWERMENT
The title of this post is not a smarmy song quote, but an actual title of the content herein. This is not so much an announcement to all of you, but a document I'm creating for myself. This is not a dialogue with you, but a dialogue with myself. It is also not up for critique. So, with that said:
1.) Patience and empathy are virtues, no matter how often anybody tries to convince you otherwise. You have tremendous powers of observation, and your intuition is strong. Don't let other people tell you that you're too sensitive, that you're clingy, that you're making things up. You are not making it up. Use this knowledge to your benefit; don't lie to yourself or represent circumstances untruthfully. Instead, use it to arm yourself, to position yourself better in conflicts. It is a very strong power.
2.) Your powers are not limited to empathy and sensitivity. You also have a great power to speak, to think, and to create. Occasionally, somebody will try to tell you this isn't true. Don't listen. Speaking, thinking, and creating will make you happy even if you become frustrated during the process. Your powers to listen and observe especially contribute to these strengths.
3.) You are not only a mind. Don't forget about your body. Don't scorn it, starve it, curse it, or pretend it isn't there. Don't resent it. You can increase its power. You can love it. It is indeed possible.
4.) Friendships are absolutely crucial. You need relationships with other people in order to take care of the above. You will not be able to do this alone, regardless of how strong you are. Don't get carried away by your involvement in friendships, though, because they can consume you and alter the way you see yourself. This particular pitfall has gotten you into a lot of trouble in the last year. Only lean on somebody as much as they are willing to lean on you, because otherwise they may resent you.
5.) Above all, you have to learn that it will be impossible to live comfortably unless you trust yourself and respect yourself. Working on difficult situations externally will help a little, but the strongest work you can do is the work that you do with yourself. Give yourself some credit. You are smart, but that is not all there is to you. You are creative, but that is not all. You are a good friend, but that is not all. There is always something else under these things, something that exists and deserves merit even in the moments you aren't proud of. This thing is as hard as a point of diamond light. It has never gone away. You are stronger than the things that stand in your way.
And, just to round it out, some subitems that are a little more tangible: Go to the Carnegie International, even if just because you want to have the experience of going to a museum. Cultivate your tastes in things that you like, not just things that other people like. Work on your zine again. Don't try to isolate the different facets of your life. Walk as much as possible. Carry around things that will make you happy. Work hard to maintain friendships with people who help you. Don't try to push sadness away. Wear more short skirts. Read up on things you want to know about. Give yourself some credit. Have fun. Find ways of meeting new people. Carry out experiments. Live in a peaceful environment and you will be at peace. Make peace with things that bother you. Value your connection with nature. Visit the place where you were born. Make up rituals. Perform them. Your heart is a muscle the size of your fist.
