MY STYLE CAN'T BE DUPLICATED OR RECYCLED/THIS CHICK IS A SICK INDIVIDUAL

(cue the theme song from Apache)

You know what's really good for triumphant Thursday afternoons? Missy Elliott, that's what. I had been listening to some of those despairing Elvis Costello jams, complaining about the weird noise in the rear wheel, etc etc, doing the whole late winter blah fest, but then today I got this phone call. It was from the MFA admissions office at the Univeristy of Minnesota, and I'll put you out of your misery right now because I GOT IN!!!!!! Into a GRAD SCHOOL, SON! So I called my parents immediately, crying and giggling through the Central Catholic parking lot, and as soon as I got in my car, I thought, "OH NO. NO ELVIS COSTELLO RIGHT NOW. RIGHT NOW WE NEED MISSY, STAT." I was so elated I could have passed out.

I know a lot of people were trying to tell me that it was stupid for me to even worry, that I always do this, and so on. The thing is that I realized that I've been putting all of my hopes on grad school as a way to change my circumstances next year. (This means mostly a way of gracefully leaving my job, and having an excuse to try something different.) I had been planning this in the abstract and getting ready for my big messy goodbye kiss to Pittsburgh without an actual ticket to ride. I was starting to figure out how painful it would be to start leaving while I'm still here and then find out later that it wasn't actually going to happen.

Oh wait, that doesn't matter anymore!

AND DO WHAT I DO WHAT I DID IT
IF YOU REALLY REALLY WANT IT DIDN'T MEAN SO STOP FRONTIN (STOP FRONTIN!)

You have no idea how good this feels.

YOUR VERY OWN EASTERN EUROPEAN PLAYLIST

1. Foreign Country- The Concretes
2. Diamonds in the Mine- Leonard Cohen
3. The Beat- Elvis Costello
4. Running Thoughts- Deerhoof
5. Horseleg Swastikas- The Silver Jews
6. Malediction- Stephen Malkmus
7. Sweet Spots- The Fiery Furnaces
8. Tonight- Iggy Pop
9. Pablo Picasso- The Modern Lovers
10. A Change Gone Come- Marvin Gaye
11. I Like Fucking- Bikini Kill
12. Get Up Off Of That Thing- James Brown
13. It's Spring Again- Biz Markie
14. US '80s-'90s- The Fall
15. Don't Let Go- En Vogue
16. This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody)- Talking Heads
17. Embassy Row- Pavement
18. When U Were Mine- Cristina
19. Fake Palindromes- Andrew Bird
20. Punks in the Beerlight- The Silver Jews
21. Prom Night at Hater High- The Long Winters

Now you're wondering, why did Sarah give me my own Eastern European playlist? Well, it's really not your own because I made it for my friend Zach who's studying in Prague for the semester. But it has served me very well in this late winter, and also I thought it might help you GET HUSTLE. Especially track 12.

CALL ME DEACON BLUES

I had written up this incredible post from my jacuzzi and chandelier hotel room in the mountains, but it has been lost in the ether, apparently. This is upsetting because it's nearly impossible to rewrite something from memory becuase there will always be some missing element, impossible to recall, that made the whole thing work. I think, in that case, I was bitching about how I was staying in a non-smoking room, but there was somehow an ashtray in the desk drawer, and I found this incredibly confusing because everything in a hotel like that is meant to seem welcoming, but also cost a lot of money. Like, "Don't worry, Miss Smith, we'll park your car THOSE CANDY BARS COST MONEY! HANDS OFF THE KALUA, BITCH!" The upshot is that I ended up smoking in the hotel room, but then I felt bad and washed out the ashtray and ran hot water in the tub to "cleanse" the air.

Because I am, at heart, very much a law-abiding citizen.

February is the most boring and terrible month, even though it has two zany holidays--how is it even possible? Valentine's Day and Groundhog Day are like the technicolor gravy of the holidays, but they're in the shortest, most unbearable month. I don't get it. Then again, it's been a long time since I've had a Valentine's Day that lived up to the cupcake and sweetheart promise.

But you know what I do when things are boring: break out the false eyelashes and theatrics. Which, for right now, will mean bowling shirts and maybe some peach shnapps. You know, GETTING HUSTLE. (If you need some reminders in GETTING HUSTLE, page back to last February.)