DEAR THE REAL WORLD,
First of all, thanks for running a marathon of your Philadelphia season while I'm more or less incapacitated with wisdom tooth pains. It's been very useful because all I want to do is sit in front of the tv anyway. I've always found the Real World compelling, but you really aren't helping me out very much with that. How the hell do you choose your cast members these days? It seems like they all have the same kind of highlights, physiques, and psych degrees from state universities, as well as an obsession with shitty cocktails and boardshorts. Is that compelling? NAH, MTV, nah. Sure, they get embroiled in drama but it's all the same kind of drama I could catch by hanging out at sorrority row. If you want real drama, I'm your girl.
How long has it been since you've had a chubby girl on your show? Um, never, last I checked. That would set it off right there. It seems like you avoid intellectuals like the plague, but guess what? I can be downright bitchy and uncompromising about politics, particularly of the gender variety. Just imagine it: I show up on the first day with my huge sunglasses and hand-rolled cigarettes, and the other roommates just BUG OUT! And then I get into arguments with the one "alternagirl" you've cast (the one with a studded belt and some extra piercings!) about the meaning of subculture. But it turns out that everybody loves me because I'm so funny, and by the end we cry because we're all best friends. (Well, that happens every time regardless . . . .)
So, you're wondering what I would get out of all of this. Well, not much, to be honest. I would lose every last ounce of cred I've worked so hard to accumulate during my college years, and I would totally be a sell out, but maybe somebody would buy my book! And then my career of complete world domination would ensue. So, like, think it over.
Refusing to lose 40 pounds or get a dye job,
Sarah
First of all, thanks for running a marathon of your Philadelphia season while I'm more or less incapacitated with wisdom tooth pains. It's been very useful because all I want to do is sit in front of the tv anyway. I've always found the Real World compelling, but you really aren't helping me out very much with that. How the hell do you choose your cast members these days? It seems like they all have the same kind of highlights, physiques, and psych degrees from state universities, as well as an obsession with shitty cocktails and boardshorts. Is that compelling? NAH, MTV, nah. Sure, they get embroiled in drama but it's all the same kind of drama I could catch by hanging out at sorrority row. If you want real drama, I'm your girl.
How long has it been since you've had a chubby girl on your show? Um, never, last I checked. That would set it off right there. It seems like you avoid intellectuals like the plague, but guess what? I can be downright bitchy and uncompromising about politics, particularly of the gender variety. Just imagine it: I show up on the first day with my huge sunglasses and hand-rolled cigarettes, and the other roommates just BUG OUT! And then I get into arguments with the one "alternagirl" you've cast (the one with a studded belt and some extra piercings!) about the meaning of subculture. But it turns out that everybody loves me because I'm so funny, and by the end we cry because we're all best friends. (Well, that happens every time regardless . . . .)
So, you're wondering what I would get out of all of this. Well, not much, to be honest. I would lose every last ounce of cred I've worked so hard to accumulate during my college years, and I would totally be a sell out, but maybe somebody would buy my book! And then my career of complete world domination would ensue. So, like, think it over.
Refusing to lose 40 pounds or get a dye job,
Sarah
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