WHAT IS A DATE AND WHAT IS NOT: A LESSON IN REALITY

"Hanging out." NOT A DATE
"Hanging out and watching some Cartoon Network." NOT A DATE
"Going out to dinner." MIGHT BE A DATE
"Going to the symphony." TOTAL DATE
"Do you want to go to the symphony with me? Don't be alarmed, there are no hidden motives, I'm just asking you to go because I thought you liked this kind of music. Just as a friend." TOTAL, UTTER DATE
"I thought I might cook dinner tonight. Do you want to come over?" SNEAKY DATE
"Do you want to shop for school supplies with me?" STRANGELY INTIMATE ACTIVITY WHICH IMPLIES LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP, YET IS NEVERTHELESS NOT A DATE
"Do you want to go to the opening night for this play with me?" IS A DATE BECAUSE DRESSING UP IS IMPLIED
"Hey, I'm going to this party . . . " NOT A DATE
"Do you want to see Alien vs. Predator?" NOT A DATE UNLESS YOU, LIKE, HOLD MY HAND THE ENTIRE TIME AND SAY THAT MY EYES ARE BEAUTIFUL
"Do you want to get a drink?" NOT A DATE
"Hey, do you want to see Weird War?" NOT A DATE
"Give me a ride to the bus stop?" NOT A DATE
"Let's have a picnic in the park." DATE, INEVITABLY
"Getting coffee." PROBABLY NOT A DATE
"Sending a cute message on Friendster." NOT, NOT, NOT A DATE
"Going to the racetrack." BEST DATE EVER
"Going to Ritter's." TOO MUCH OF A HABIT TO BE CONSIDERED A DATE
"Anything that happens within two days of Valentine's Day" MIGHT BE A DATE, BUT IT'S HARD TO TELL.