PEOPLE TO INVITE TO MY TOP-SECRET BIRTHDAY PARTY

The inner circle/the roommates.
The classmates, especially if they're Pheasants.
The professors. Wait, no way. The GRAD STUDENTS.
The ex-bosses.
The co-workers.
The film nerds.
Anybody who smokes cigarettes.
Anybody who hung out at the Union Grill with me back when I was, um, 19.
The people who throw house parties and invite me.
The people who like whiskey.
The people who give good presents.

No young professionals. No haters.