SEVEN FOR ALL MANKIND EXCEPT FAT GIRLS
I'll cut to the chase: I have designer jeans now. Surprised? I'll bet you are, because designer jeans are very seldom made in the kinds of sizes common to many people, and to me. That's part of the whole "designer" thing, I think. Or: when Calvin Klein was asked why he didn't design clothes above a size ten, he said, "I don't do upholstery."
So, imagine how intrigued I was when I saw a Lane Bryant ad for Seven7 For All Mankind Jeans EXCLUSIVELY IN YOUR SIZE at Lane Bryant. OH REALLY. Now, I realize that a lot of you will not know that Lane Bryant is a strictly plus-sized store. Myself, being at the upper end of "normal" (and thus able to shop with everybody else at the Gap), I don't often go into Lane Bryant. It's a complete role reversal--in the Gap, I have to reach to the back of the rack to grope around for size 16 skirts which are often not there. In Lane Bryant, I'm at the very lowest end. I try things on and they're baggy on me. It's crazy. It's definitely not something that I'm used to. Kind of a crazy body land where I'm not made to feel like a big potato (or couch, thanks Calvin).
Unfortunately, most of the Seven7 jeans were ugly as all hell. I'm talking pink tackyass rhinestones and a little pink ribbon. I mean, EXCUSE ME? What is it about plus-size women that makes designers assume we're 12? Is there some kind of statute of limitations regarding cutesy pink clothing? Can anybody explain this shit to me?
I love looking at certain Rubensesque paintings because they're just about the only images in Western Culture that reflect me. I always think, "Oh, hey, that's MY belly, too!" My life would be pretty damn different if I had the preferred body type, just by chance.
I'll cut to the chase: I have designer jeans now. Surprised? I'll bet you are, because designer jeans are very seldom made in the kinds of sizes common to many people, and to me. That's part of the whole "designer" thing, I think. Or: when Calvin Klein was asked why he didn't design clothes above a size ten, he said, "I don't do upholstery."
So, imagine how intrigued I was when I saw a Lane Bryant ad for Seven7 For All Mankind Jeans EXCLUSIVELY IN YOUR SIZE at Lane Bryant. OH REALLY. Now, I realize that a lot of you will not know that Lane Bryant is a strictly plus-sized store. Myself, being at the upper end of "normal" (and thus able to shop with everybody else at the Gap), I don't often go into Lane Bryant. It's a complete role reversal--in the Gap, I have to reach to the back of the rack to grope around for size 16 skirts which are often not there. In Lane Bryant, I'm at the very lowest end. I try things on and they're baggy on me. It's crazy. It's definitely not something that I'm used to. Kind of a crazy body land where I'm not made to feel like a big potato (or couch, thanks Calvin).
Unfortunately, most of the Seven7 jeans were ugly as all hell. I'm talking pink tackyass rhinestones and a little pink ribbon. I mean, EXCUSE ME? What is it about plus-size women that makes designers assume we're 12? Is there some kind of statute of limitations regarding cutesy pink clothing? Can anybody explain this shit to me?
I love looking at certain Rubensesque paintings because they're just about the only images in Western Culture that reflect me. I always think, "Oh, hey, that's MY belly, too!" My life would be pretty damn different if I had the preferred body type, just by chance.
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