YOU'RE A SHINING STAR
Jazz concerts always make me feel a lot more secure in what I'm doing with myself, musically at least. It's pretty typical for me to start doubting whether I should really be a music student, whether I have the theoretical chops to keep up with everybody else, or what my deal is. Music used to be at least half of my life, up until a few years ago when I decided to go to school primarily for writing and English rather than instrumental music. Since then, I've definitely lost a lot of ground. I mean, if I had continued playing as much as I did to prepare myself for all-state band auditions in senior year, I would have absolutely beastly endurance. But as things are, this is not true. I've taken out a lot of time to focus on writing and stuff, much more than I had previously. And yes, I'm happy about those decisions. From what I see of the school of music, I don't know how well I'd fit in. But I'm all about the English department. I know everybody, they're all pretty interesting, and pretty much on the same ideological manhunt that I'm on.
But anyway, the whole point of this post is to say that my jazz concert was awesome. I love it when friends of mine who have never heard me play come to concerts and see what I'm all about. I love it when everybody who gets up to solo does something cool as hell and the whole band (not to mention the whole audience) is just grooving on them. I love it when I get up to play a solo and I close my eyes and some amazing emotion comes out, my knees are shaking, I'm sweating, my eyes are tearing up, and I'm afraid I might fall down, then it's over and I can see with more clarity than before. And to do that FIVE TIMES in a night is truly exhausting.
Also, this was one of the most technically demanding programs I'd ever played. This is because I play lead in both ensembles, and that means that just as the opening band is relaxing and putting their instruments away, I'm gargling water and running around with a box of bucket mutes and wondering if there's enough time for me to crack my knuckles before I have to go back on stage. This is all to keep me from worrying that my teeth might crack or something. That's a lot of high notes, folk.
But the point is, it all went off. I got a lot of great compliments backstage, and from my friends, and I just feel pretty good that I've still got it. Whatever IT is.
Jazz concerts always make me feel a lot more secure in what I'm doing with myself, musically at least. It's pretty typical for me to start doubting whether I should really be a music student, whether I have the theoretical chops to keep up with everybody else, or what my deal is. Music used to be at least half of my life, up until a few years ago when I decided to go to school primarily for writing and English rather than instrumental music. Since then, I've definitely lost a lot of ground. I mean, if I had continued playing as much as I did to prepare myself for all-state band auditions in senior year, I would have absolutely beastly endurance. But as things are, this is not true. I've taken out a lot of time to focus on writing and stuff, much more than I had previously. And yes, I'm happy about those decisions. From what I see of the school of music, I don't know how well I'd fit in. But I'm all about the English department. I know everybody, they're all pretty interesting, and pretty much on the same ideological manhunt that I'm on.
But anyway, the whole point of this post is to say that my jazz concert was awesome. I love it when friends of mine who have never heard me play come to concerts and see what I'm all about. I love it when everybody who gets up to solo does something cool as hell and the whole band (not to mention the whole audience) is just grooving on them. I love it when I get up to play a solo and I close my eyes and some amazing emotion comes out, my knees are shaking, I'm sweating, my eyes are tearing up, and I'm afraid I might fall down, then it's over and I can see with more clarity than before. And to do that FIVE TIMES in a night is truly exhausting.
Also, this was one of the most technically demanding programs I'd ever played. This is because I play lead in both ensembles, and that means that just as the opening band is relaxing and putting their instruments away, I'm gargling water and running around with a box of bucket mutes and wondering if there's enough time for me to crack my knuckles before I have to go back on stage. This is all to keep me from worrying that my teeth might crack or something. That's a lot of high notes, folk.
But the point is, it all went off. I got a lot of great compliments backstage, and from my friends, and I just feel pretty good that I've still got it. Whatever IT is.
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