CANTAKEROUS!
Here's a dirty secret about me: sometimes I re-read my previous blog entries and laugh my ass off. I'm not laughing my ass off because of shame, but because I think I'm incredibly funny. (In one of my most shamelessly navel-gazing moments, I called Rachel to read her a past entry I found particularly hilarious, but couldn't get through it because I was laughing so hard at my own jokes. I suspect there's a lesson in there, somewhere.) But recently I've realized that my punchy little jokes in this blog have migrated into my actual life, and that I have in fact used the same words to describe my recent experiences to people who have already read the blog version of such. Imagine my incredible embarrassment, plagiarizing myself like that. It makes my blood run cold. So, in repentance, I will publish some very internal and previously unspoken sentiments here. Get it while it's hot, because I'm never going to say this stuff in person.
+I make a playlist for every crush I have, even if it fizzles out after a week. That's when I delete the playlist and pretend that I spend my time doing better things.
+When I'm stressed, I go to the Giant Eagle and pick up sushi, seltzer water, and a fluffy magazine like Glamour or Jane. And then I snack out very quietly in my room.
+Before I switched to sushi, I would snack out on those Buttermilk Pretzel Pieces (pieces? disconcerting!) and feel really gross afterwards.
+Sometimes I put on a polyester dress & a headscarf and just drive around for a while.
+I really like my legs.
+When I haven't showered in a few days, I put loose powder on my bangs to make them look less greasy, which allows me to go a few more days without showering.
+I only do laundry after I run out of underwear.
+I frequently buy more underwear to avoid doing laundry.
+Sometimes my hands shake from the amount of coffee I drink. (I know, that's REAL BAD. Balzac DIED that way, apparently.)
+I love putting hydrogen peroxide on cuts & wounds because it's so damn grotesque. (Maybe I do have goth leanings after all.)
+I love "girl goes to NYC and hits it big" stories, even though they're so cheesy they disgust me.
+Sometimes I break down and go to Panera.
+I listen to rock music the way a 14-year-old does: obsessively, unhealthily. When I buy a new album, I expect it to improve my personality, even though this is rarely the case.
You know, I think that's enough for right now.
Here's a dirty secret about me: sometimes I re-read my previous blog entries and laugh my ass off. I'm not laughing my ass off because of shame, but because I think I'm incredibly funny. (In one of my most shamelessly navel-gazing moments, I called Rachel to read her a past entry I found particularly hilarious, but couldn't get through it because I was laughing so hard at my own jokes. I suspect there's a lesson in there, somewhere.) But recently I've realized that my punchy little jokes in this blog have migrated into my actual life, and that I have in fact used the same words to describe my recent experiences to people who have already read the blog version of such. Imagine my incredible embarrassment, plagiarizing myself like that. It makes my blood run cold. So, in repentance, I will publish some very internal and previously unspoken sentiments here. Get it while it's hot, because I'm never going to say this stuff in person.
+I make a playlist for every crush I have, even if it fizzles out after a week. That's when I delete the playlist and pretend that I spend my time doing better things.
+When I'm stressed, I go to the Giant Eagle and pick up sushi, seltzer water, and a fluffy magazine like Glamour or Jane. And then I snack out very quietly in my room.
+Before I switched to sushi, I would snack out on those Buttermilk Pretzel Pieces (pieces? disconcerting!) and feel really gross afterwards.
+Sometimes I put on a polyester dress & a headscarf and just drive around for a while.
+I really like my legs.
+When I haven't showered in a few days, I put loose powder on my bangs to make them look less greasy, which allows me to go a few more days without showering.
+I only do laundry after I run out of underwear.
+I frequently buy more underwear to avoid doing laundry.
+Sometimes my hands shake from the amount of coffee I drink. (I know, that's REAL BAD. Balzac DIED that way, apparently.)
+I love putting hydrogen peroxide on cuts & wounds because it's so damn grotesque. (Maybe I do have goth leanings after all.)
+I love "girl goes to NYC and hits it big" stories, even though they're so cheesy they disgust me.
+Sometimes I break down and go to Panera.
+I listen to rock music the way a 14-year-old does: obsessively, unhealthily. When I buy a new album, I expect it to improve my personality, even though this is rarely the case.
You know, I think that's enough for right now.
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