THE NEIGHBORS SAY I CHANT TOO LOUD(LY)
I hate feeling inept at my job(s). The English Department was actually pretty busy today, and I did a lot of stuff without faltering. But I've made so many stupid little mistakes at the library today that I feel like a total dumbass. (But! A dumbass who'll be going on vacation very shortly.) Maybe I can write it off on general fatigue; goodness knows that would be about right. But really, I don't think I got a very in-depth training on how things work around here: when this cart of books moves over there, whose responsibility it is to move them, what you have to fill out in order to do this or that. Accordingly, I spend what feels like an awful lot of time bumbling around for the right thing to do, which I usually pick up best by watching others. So, maybe I'm not a model library employee. I don't know if I can handle that, though. It just isn't in my blood to accept mediocrity. (Okay, I'm going to amend that because it makes me sound like a walking nerd terror. I feel really weird when I'm not "striving" is more or less what I mean, even though I think it's tremendously healthy to view mundane work as entirely non-crucial to my mental well-being. At least that's the line.)

Of course, I'm hoping you'll ignore the fact that I wrote this post while I was actually at work . . . .