YOU'RE A HUMAN SUPERNOVA
It feels like the mid-90s all over again in my old bedroom. I'm stretched out on my bed in velcro curlers and pink lipstick, listening to Liz Phair in her earlier, more integrity-ridden period, and remembering what it was like to feel like I was connecting to something larger than the local punk scene at the VFW or the extracurriculars at school. It was all female artists in my CD player: Bjork, Liz Phair, Tori Amos, Cibo Matto, Belly, and Lauryn Hill; I was beginning to have the sense that there were people elsewhere in the world who agreed with my point of view. I felt that the oppression of women was the A no. 1 concern, and my politics certainly gravitated toward that in my public life. There's a dangerously nostalgic light cast over all of this (of course it's pink). As much fun as it seems, it doesn't feel very satisfying. I don't wish that it could be 1995 again, as much as I talk that way. My politics have evolved into a staggeringly complicated orb of concern in which the only viable action seems to be to recognize the complications and try to act accordingly. It's all about confluences for me now: the way in which an overdetermined concept of gender oppression affects the dynamics of class oppression, and how the entire picture changes when one realizes that race is at once underlying and without the frame. It goes on like this. Cheering about the invention of pantyhose or a new vintage/mod/girly designer/makeup artist/salon owner feels a little slight, if hedonistically fun.
I can't speak entirely against hedonistic, vapid fun, so here are some of the most shallow, fucking fun things of the vacation to date:
1)L'oreal Glass Shine: I found four tubes of this at Big Lots yesterday for a dollar each. Please note that Glass Shine is what Rachel and I consider the most sought-after of all lip goos. We once spent fifteen minutes on our hands and knees rooting through a bargain bin in CVS to find some rogue tubes of it but only came up with brown. Rachel, I hope you're reading this because DO I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU.
2. MTV's Rich Girls: I know, I know, just watching the damn tv show makes these semi-bratty girls' wealth a self-fulfilling profesy. And I'm sorry, but damn. They say such awful things. When they were in London: "Do they have Starbucks here?" "Yeah, don't worry." Yeeeow. Also, the episode that covers the NYC blackout was delicious. I love yelling at the tv.
3. White liquid eyeliner: When I found this in a drugstore, my interior monologue went like this: "Oh my god. I'm in fashion heaven." WHile I realize how vapid that sounds, check this: my love of makeup is not necessarily born entirely of a desire to measure up to patriarchal beauty standards, but a desire to overthrow them while self-medicating and image-altering while listening to Elvis Costello, dig? That said, liquid eyeliner is my grand pantheon, my alpha and omega, and my gun-in-the-holster. White liquid eyeliner isn't even supposed to exist, unless maybe you found it in a professional cosmetologist's bag. Even better, said eyeliner is in one of those old-fashioned looking jars with a stout little pot at the bottom and a long, glamorous wand on top. I may not even try to wear it, but create an alter for it instead.
4. Finding a mixtape a guy gave me in 10th grade and realizing it was a SECRET CRUSH mixtape: I highly recommend this if you want to be in a better mood. I was just looking for something to listen to while driving around, so I popped in an unmarked tape just to see what was on it. Well, it started with "Every Breath You Take," continued on to "No Quarter," "More Than a Feeling," "Here In Your Bedroom," "Break On Through to the Other Side," and some mid-90s punk song with the chorus, "What is it about you that I adore?" Damn. DAMN. Somehow none of this made any impression on me when I first received it. It rather gives one the air of lighting candles with all of one's excess love letters. Damn damn.
Yeah, I think that's enough for now. Happy holidays; I hope you're ready for the drunken Christmas phone call you'll be receiving from me tomorrow!
It feels like the mid-90s all over again in my old bedroom. I'm stretched out on my bed in velcro curlers and pink lipstick, listening to Liz Phair in her earlier, more integrity-ridden period, and remembering what it was like to feel like I was connecting to something larger than the local punk scene at the VFW or the extracurriculars at school. It was all female artists in my CD player: Bjork, Liz Phair, Tori Amos, Cibo Matto, Belly, and Lauryn Hill; I was beginning to have the sense that there were people elsewhere in the world who agreed with my point of view. I felt that the oppression of women was the A no. 1 concern, and my politics certainly gravitated toward that in my public life. There's a dangerously nostalgic light cast over all of this (of course it's pink). As much fun as it seems, it doesn't feel very satisfying. I don't wish that it could be 1995 again, as much as I talk that way. My politics have evolved into a staggeringly complicated orb of concern in which the only viable action seems to be to recognize the complications and try to act accordingly. It's all about confluences for me now: the way in which an overdetermined concept of gender oppression affects the dynamics of class oppression, and how the entire picture changes when one realizes that race is at once underlying and without the frame. It goes on like this. Cheering about the invention of pantyhose or a new vintage/mod/girly designer/makeup artist/salon owner feels a little slight, if hedonistically fun.
I can't speak entirely against hedonistic, vapid fun, so here are some of the most shallow, fucking fun things of the vacation to date:
1)L'oreal Glass Shine: I found four tubes of this at Big Lots yesterday for a dollar each. Please note that Glass Shine is what Rachel and I consider the most sought-after of all lip goos. We once spent fifteen minutes on our hands and knees rooting through a bargain bin in CVS to find some rogue tubes of it but only came up with brown. Rachel, I hope you're reading this because DO I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU.
2. MTV's Rich Girls: I know, I know, just watching the damn tv show makes these semi-bratty girls' wealth a self-fulfilling profesy. And I'm sorry, but damn. They say such awful things. When they were in London: "Do they have Starbucks here?" "Yeah, don't worry." Yeeeow. Also, the episode that covers the NYC blackout was delicious. I love yelling at the tv.
3. White liquid eyeliner: When I found this in a drugstore, my interior monologue went like this: "Oh my god. I'm in fashion heaven." WHile I realize how vapid that sounds, check this: my love of makeup is not necessarily born entirely of a desire to measure up to patriarchal beauty standards, but a desire to overthrow them while self-medicating and image-altering while listening to Elvis Costello, dig? That said, liquid eyeliner is my grand pantheon, my alpha and omega, and my gun-in-the-holster. White liquid eyeliner isn't even supposed to exist, unless maybe you found it in a professional cosmetologist's bag. Even better, said eyeliner is in one of those old-fashioned looking jars with a stout little pot at the bottom and a long, glamorous wand on top. I may not even try to wear it, but create an alter for it instead.
4. Finding a mixtape a guy gave me in 10th grade and realizing it was a SECRET CRUSH mixtape: I highly recommend this if you want to be in a better mood. I was just looking for something to listen to while driving around, so I popped in an unmarked tape just to see what was on it. Well, it started with "Every Breath You Take," continued on to "No Quarter," "More Than a Feeling," "Here In Your Bedroom," "Break On Through to the Other Side," and some mid-90s punk song with the chorus, "What is it about you that I adore?" Damn. DAMN. Somehow none of this made any impression on me when I first received it. It rather gives one the air of lighting candles with all of one's excess love letters. Damn damn.
Yeah, I think that's enough for now. Happy holidays; I hope you're ready for the drunken Christmas phone call you'll be receiving from me tomorrow!
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